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You’ve set your fitness goals, you are finally ready to commit to the lifestyle changes necessary to improve your health and fitness levels. You are committed to eating healthy and exercising consistently! You are so excited about your new goals and the lifestyle that you can envision for yourself!

Naturally you want to share your aspirations with the people you love and care about the most. So you go to your family and friends. You are bubbling over as you tell them how excited you are to get your health and fitness on track! Then it happens. You get that skeptical look which says, “I’ll believe it when I see it”, or you hear a comment such as, “Why do you want to do that,” or “I’ve heard you say that before”. Can you picture it?

Here’s another scenario…you have started your journey, you have been eating clean, working hard and getting lean. You feel so much more confident, have so much more energy and are loving the way that you now look and feel. But strangely the people that you thought would be so happy and excited for you start making negative instead of positive comments. The guy or girl whose been your best friend for years starts making snide comments about your new eating habits. They tell you that you’ve lost enough weight, they may start developing a bad attitude towards you. Perhaps they try to pressure you into making unhealthy food choices, anything to throw you off the fit and healthy track that you are on. They just don’t “get” it….  Do you have someone like this in your life?

Isn’t it amazing how that look or negative comment can feel like someone just punched you in the gut? Your excitement begins to drain. You lose your enthusiasm and even feel embarrassment for sharing your goals or success.  Self doubt comes creeping in, “maybe they are right, maybe I have said it before, maybe it is silly to think I can change,” or you start to give in to the temptations that they are taunting you with just so you won’t feel like the outsider. STOP right there! Don’t let those doubts creep in! Don’t give in to these saboteurs. If you have experienced this type of negativity from someone close to you, someone who’s opinion matters to you… you have been a victim of Fitness Sabotage!

Why does it seem like the people closest to us try to sabotage our fitness goals? As soon as they find out you are trying to eat healthy, they taunt you with poor food choices. It feels like they want you to fail. It feels like they are intentionally trying to hurt you. So how do you deal with it?

First, realize that you are in charge of you! You are responsible for your choices and decisions when it comes to food, exercise and the habits that you want to create in your life. Even if you have been a “victim” (I use that term VERY lightly because you should never have a victim mentality, but one of being empowered to make the right choices for your body) of fitness sabotage you must recognize that this is not an excuse to abandon your fitness goals!

Second, realize that if your saboteur cares about you, they are probably not consciously and intentionally trying to bring you down. It’s likely they are oblivious that they are hurting and not helping you.  Perhaps they are afraid. If you make these changes, maybe they will have to make changes as well, or if you succeed they will have to recognize their own need to make better choices. You see, if someone is a fitness saboteur it is NOT about YOU, it’s about THEM. Without even knowing it they try to tear your success down in order to feel better about themselves. I know it’s easier said than done, but you must recognize this and do not allow their words or actions make you feel bad about yourself, your goals or your progress.

My final piece of advice is to talk to them. Let them know how important these goals are to you, and let them know you need their support. You aren’t going to judge them for the choices they make, or try to force them to change, so make sure they know that. Ask them if they will be willing to support and encourage you as you make behavioral changes which will improve the quality and quantity of your life. If they are still negative towards you, you may have some choices to make as far as if this is a person that you should still have in your life. If this person is someone who truly cares about you and loves you, then they should listen and support and not try to sabotage.

Note to Saboteurs!! If YOU are reading this and realize that YOU have been a fitness saboteur in the life of someone you care about, then PLEASE take this opportunity to turn that negative into a positive, give your support and a word or encouragement and show this person that you care!

When you make healthy choices in your life, you are not only creating a better YOU,  you are inspiring people around you whether you realize it or not. Your story, your transformation, your hard work towards success is making a positive influence on someone’s life. It may be a co-worker, it may be a friend or family member. Even those who try to sabotage you may eventually come around to making healthier choices in THEIR lives, and YOU will be the spark that gets them on the right track. Stay strong, stay motivated and go for your goals. You have everything that you need within you to achieve whatever you set your mind to, and never let anyone tell you different!

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